What Puppies Taught Me About Second-Guessing Myself
If you ever find yourself struggling with a big decision where your heart and brain aren’t on the same page, maybe this little trick will help.
We’re a dog family and have usually been a two-dog household. It’s been this way since 1998. Last October, we lost our sweet senior pup, Maci, to a fussy old pancreas and uncontrollable diabetes. That left Diego, two years her senior, all by himself.
They were inseparable best buds for nine years. I have never seen two dogs get along so well in my life. Maci was the boss, and Diego gladly followed her lead. Since she passed, Diego has become very attached to me. Lucky for him, I work from home, so he gets to hang out with me most of the time.
Enter conflict—Last week, I found out my cousin’s dog had puppies, and I was offered the first pick of any of the males. Of course, my heart said, “Yes,” I absolutely needed a snuggly little black miniature schnauzer, while my common sense said, " No,” it wouldn’t be fair to my almost 16-year-old deaf, arthritic, sleeps-most-of-the-day-away buddy.
After a few days of torturing myself over this "should I, no, I shouldn't" decision and feeling really selfish and guilty for even wanting another dog, I made a final decision using a fairly simple trick. You might even call it a heuristic because it sped up my decision-making process and didn’t require much analysis.
Get ready—it’s a doozy, and I think it will come in handy in the future. I just wish I’d thought of it sooner.
Here it is:
If it’s not a fist-pumpin' HELL YES!, it’s a no.
Pretty simple, huh? In this case, the puppy simply cannot be a HELL YES! While it could be a great thing for Diego to have a new best friend, it could also be a terrible thing for him. The risk of a new puppy being a bad experience for my older boy is just too great at this point in his life. So, it’s a no, and I can stop worrying about it. As a matter of fact, I am relieved and actually, I feel pretty good about saying no so easily.
So I started thinking about how I can use this rule going forward. You know, for decisions where my heart and mind are in contention - for things like:
What services do I want to continue offering?
Do I want to work with that prospective client?
Do I want to keep working with this PITA client?
Should I accept this intriguing offer or say yes to that shiny new opportunity?
How easy is it to trust your gut when you live by the rule “if it’s not a fist-pumpin' HELL YES!, it’s a no?" I suspect this new rule is going to save me so much decision fatigue and strife. Do you also agonize over certain decisions? Do you feel guilty for saying no to things, or worse, mad at yourself for saying yes, when you want to say no? Do you sometimes question yourself and your judgment? Do you not easily trust your gut?
If you struggle with any of these, especially when it’s a heart-versus-head decision like a sweet, snuggly little black miniature schnauzer, sigh, I encourage you to give this trick a try or better yet, develop your own trick that works for you. For now, I'm sticking with:
If it’s simply not a HELL YES! It’s gotta be a no.
I’ll be testing this trick a lot more in the future. It will not only save me from wasting valuable time and energy but also relieve unnecessary stress, freeing me from second-guessing myself or making myself miserable with what-ifs and maybes.
Let me know if you have a similar trick that you use to save yourself time and stress when making big decisions. Let me know if you think this HELL YES! or it’s a no trick will work for you or if you came up with something even better for yourself.
